Dating can be fun but it can also be miserable and a waste of time. I personally do not spend my time and energy on men who show instant warning signs. Sometimes we women/men see these signs and still choose to give the person their time and then regret ever doing so.
Don’t settle for less thinking that you can change a person just because you do not want to be alone. If that’s the case, I rather be single and stay happy than be engaged and mistreated.
I have heard over and over from girlfriends and other women that if they had not already gotten thus far in their relationship, then they wouldn’t have dated their partner. Perhaps they got pregnant or fell in love with the person even though they know they are not being loved and treated the best.
As it relates to men, well I think men are more peculiar with who they decide to marry. I believe if a man shows keen interest with no other intention than to love and take care of a woman, then he definitely wants to have a relationship.
Am I saying that women lower their standards more than men do? No, of course not. I just believe that men are more selective when making this decision.
But given that we think we know what to expect from a good man or woman. What are signs and shows that this is worth your time or that your date won’t lead to the relationship you are hoping for?
1. They are always “tardy” and “stands you up” on most occasions
In human nature, people are going to be late. However, when you are late because you simply forgot or woke up late or some lame excuse then most likely he or she is not serious. I think it says a lot about a person when you are late on the first date or continuously late. If you truly have respect and is interested in the person whom you are dating then you will try your utmost best to be early; as if it were a job interview or an appointment you just can’t miss.
I see it this way, if you don’t wanna date the person then stop cutting around corners and let the person know straight up that you are not interested in them, rather than “stand them up” it’s very embarrassing and hurtful. If this happens to you, think twice and analyze the situation to see if it is worth another shot.
2. You have to instigate every date/idea or decision
If you have to instigate every date or make every decision, then I think that person might have no interest and you should immediately drop them. Dating is not a solo activity, it is a mutual coupled activity and requires some form of mutual agreement. If you have to say what to eat, where to go, what time and what to talk about then forget it.
3. Frequently missed calls
Don’t you just hate when people never pick up their phone? Yes, we understand that sometimes we are busy. However, if they never return your calls or probably return them years later after your bones have rotten, then my friend that’s a piece a hot bread. DROP IT!
4. Refusing to hold hands
WOMEN! If you ever go out on a date and a man walks ahead of you, refuse to hold your hand in certain situations or not hold the door for you to enter before him, then that man does not want you. These are the simple signs that show his true interest and intention. He just probably wants you to open up then ditch you later.
5. Trying to get you in bed way too soon
While I do believe in marriage before intimacy, I believe to each his own. If you do believe this and he requires intimacy first then honey you do not need a magnifying glass it’s that obvious. WALK AWAY!!! This also applies to men. However, if this is ok with you, there is a thing called ‘way too soon’ and a 3-5 even 14 days is still way too soon.
I do believe this is why when dating, some women and men tend to have been through quite a number of partners because they rush into things without getting to know the person first. Trust me this will save you heart breaks, unwanted pregnancies and or an STD/s.
6. Never speaks about family or future plans
If you intend to move on to the next step, I am sure you will want to brief your date on the important things in your life such as your family and your future endeavors. Yes, I want to know how many brothers or sisters you have. How many kids would you like? Your plan for the future. People! These are things you should be aware. Do you watch Lifetime movies? Lol Yea, you see where I am getting at.
7. Always”take out” but never go out
Ok! So the other day I was watching youtube, this young lady was documenting her weight loss achievement and vlogs about her personal life. In one particular video, she spoke about how she met this guy who happened to have fallen in love with her 400 pounds body. Stating how he buys her nice things, always “Netflix and chill” but never takes her out on real dates. Hmm. Now, something is definitely wrong with that. When she inquired, his response was “he is a well-known law enforcer and he would be ridiculed if seen with a woman her size.”
Ok, let me tell you this, there is no love in that relationship because he obviously did not accept her flaws. ‘Your flaws are perfect for the one that was made to love you’ If he can’t be seen with you, then he shouldn’t be able to lay with you. Accept me for me. Disrespectful!
8. They don’t want a relationship
If he or she says “I do not want a relationship,” then why are we dating? The main aim of you dating is to establish a relationship. But then again, everyone dates for different reasons. However, we are not here to discuss those reasons; we are here for a good relationship that will lead to a healthy marriage. PERIOD!
9. No introduction to family or friends
If Mama or Papa doesn’t know you, then you probably are nonexistent. Less, of course, ma and pa are not around, but a partner who introduces you to their most important beings definitely thinks highly of you.
10. Lack proper and meaningful communication
Communication is key to a successful relationship. If your date cannot have a meaningful conversation or doesn’t communicate with you well, then there will be issues before you even establish a relationship. Learning how to effectively communicate with your partner with honesty, respect and emotion will strengthen the bond you have with each other as well as the relationship.
11. Shows no emotions
Emotions are a way to show affection and it’s very vital in any relationship. How else will you feel the love? If they show some to no form of real emotion after dating for awhile, then they are not the one. You probably will never hear I love you anytime soon or ever at all.
12. Tell lies!!!
We all lie, but some lies are more dangerous than some. Little white lies won’t come close to the lies people tell to harm and hurt others. This is the number one deal breaker. Lies! If he/she tell lies in the dating stage, then those lies will not stop. It will only perfect over time. Stay away from liars; they are dangerous people.
Let us know what are your deal breakers?