I cannot express how many times I have been asked “Where are your husband and kids?” or “Why aren’t you married?”. At this point, I get so annoyed that I just laugh. I cannot attack every single person who asks me stupid questions. I decided to talk about “Why more educated women are single”. I speak from a personal stand point and share some research information. Don’t get my wrong, my opinions aren’t facts and you are welcome to chime in and share you opinion respectfully.
Does having an education hinders us from securing a successful relationship? I belive its more than just having an education. It’s the persona and ideology that we create after getting the piece of paper. It’s as if life changes once some of us become smart and succussful. Of course, not all women but for the once who fall under this category.
Take for instance the TV show “Insecure” and “Being Mary Jane,” those women are perfect examples of successful women who find it hard to find a partner, and face quite a few challenges in the dating world. Molly from ‘Insecure’ who plays a very prestigious black lawyer who is a “hopeless romantic” due to her insecurities. She tries hard in the dating scene but many of her dates amount to one night nights and nothing substantial. All Molly desires is to not be so powerful and be more vulnerable.
On the other hand, Mary Jane from ‘Being Mary Jane’ who is a successful black cable news anchor is similar to Molly in not securing a steady relationship because she’s constantly looking in the wrong direction for love. She has the career, the money, the car and fame but yet something is still missing.
Why are more educated women are single?
Educated women can be challenging, stubborn, and problematic
A British study suggests that females with high intellect are problematic in heterosexual relationships.
Is that true? Are smarter women problematic? What do they consider problematic? I think its because we hold such high standard and we know our worth. We know we are educated, financially stable, and priorities are in check so bullshit just doesn’t fly. We want what we want, yes some of us talk back and we challenge things because we are confident women who hold our self highly. That’s not problematic.
Not confusing confidence and high standards with arrogance and being problematic. Some men don’t like that because they like to be in control and not have their manhood challenged. So, they shy away from strong powerful women.
It’s ok for them to have an ego but it’s not ok for us women? Double Standards!
Lacking communicable skills
Not every person is skilled in having excellent communication, whether college educated or non-college educated. It varies on the capability of the individual to hold a valuable conversation.
I find that some men who haven’t finish school or doesn’t read as much often times cannot hold a constructive conversation. Its very embarrassing when texting and there are constant misspelling of certain words. That happens often for me but not deliberate, its more like spell check errors.
Many women and men I know find spelling errors or and inability to hold meaning and constructive conversation a deal breaker. Would you attribute this to be uneducated? Would you not text or call back because of this?
It depends, base on the conversation and the person I can access and say ‘yes’. They clearly have some challenges and I’m not willing to work with that and that’s ok. But, to think that a person’s inability to conversate makes them unlovable is somewhat arrogant but who am I to Judge, ‘to each to his own.’
He wants a Good Housewife
I will not presume to know that most men prefer non-college-educated or a woman who is less challenging and more relax.
Some men do not like the idea of a more powerful woman who does what he can and even more. In the article “The Wire,” written by John Carney explains that “successful men date less successful women not because they want ‘women to be dumb’ but rather because they want ‘someone who prioritizes their life in a way that’s compatible with how you prioritize yours.’”
I do agree with what he is saying, Some men don’t want to commit to a woman that puts her life and career above him and the household.
He wants his woman to be committed to taking care of him and their children. But why is it that the woman can’t be both college-educated and a good wife?
On another note, Jon Birger author of the book Date-onomics assured us, women, that we are out of luck if we think we will be able to snatch a husband so quickly and easily.
Unfortunately for us, he did a study and found out that there is a “man-deficit” due to 34% more women than men graduating from college. He went further on to say that “The odds of a non-college graduate marrying a college graduate are lower now than at any point since the 1950s. But that is bound to change. I foresee a rise in what I call ‘mixed-collar marriages’ — professional women marrying working-class men.”
There is a big difference between “uneducated” and “not college-educated, ” and there are plenty of successful, smart men out there who are way more successful and educated than many men who attended college.
Base on what I researched and observed, I absolutely disagree with most women who believe they have to marry a college-educated man to secure a healthy marriage/relationship.
Isn’t a man’s values more important than a piece of paper? There are plenty of men who may not have attended or finish college who can love, care and support you even more than some who are college-educated. The rest lies with the woman to ensure she doesn’t friend zone the keeper.
There are quite a number of women who rather be single and have Tyrone on speed dial. Let us not forget not every woman was meant to be tame some rather be free. Baring in mind, Love and Marriage was never promised to any of us. We can always seek but it doesn’t mean we will find.
Check out the Institute for Family studies research on ‘“The Gender Gap in Marriages Between College-Educated Partners”
Let me hear what yo have to say.